my full name is jack bartolmeus jackson and of course i didn't want nobody callin' me jack so i made sure with plenty of physical threats through my younger years to set the name straight with friends and enemies alike.  i was just plain bart and i've been depressed since i can remember and not your ordinary blues which last a day or 3 but a deep down hard feeling that could last for months or weeks, but leave and stay at bay for just as long. oh i've seen the shrinks, had the electro-shock therapy had the uppers and anti-psychotic pills they had to force me to take when they had me committed to treatment hospitols or sanitariums; but, as is mostly true in older times, i am talking the 60's and 70's they didn't have that much help for me anyway.  happy for me though i had the courage in my last 40's to do something about my irreversible unlibeable domination of depression without a clue to its origins.  my friend it is a torcher you would trade two brokenlegs for--- perhaps a wheel-chair on and off because it was no laughing matter.  as a matter of course through my attempts at relief with no solution in sight i chose the ultimate permanent answer.

i made my desision six months ago to take my own life fast and very easy. i rented a airplane and pilot for an hour under the guise that i wanted to parachute or sky-dive which i had already practiced and was adequate at. but this time i packed the shoot so it would not open, actually both shoots so i would leave this planet quick and painless.  i knew the minutes prior to impact would be blissful because i'am very relieved at my hardened fast decision.  i just felt hope for a better release that i could not find with all the best doctors had to offer me.

the day arrived for my jump and all went as usual i even had my trainer fly the plane over some of my favorite water areas and large lakes at a pretty good altitude.  when all was ready for the jump i hit the doorway with a scream of gung-ho and started a rapid free fall descent opening or trying the faulty shoot to look good on the ground relieving any suspicion of foul play even suicide, for i did not wish to burden anyone unnecessarily.

well i saw them coming at a very good altitude, flocks and flocks of canada geese and i hit the first three lead birds killing them hurting me severely or at least it really bruised me but to my surprise they slowed my descent and then the same thing happened at 3 different altitudes slowing my fall by half and of course killing 7 or 10 geese and getting bruised badly
in the deal and you would not believe a flock or flocks of hundreds of crows at a much lower height but still very high for them.  i began hitting and killing and slowing more and more and when i hit the water feet first for i could not change my attitude because of the pain of having been repeatedly slammed into the hordes of large crows alive for a while that when i finally hit the lake i was only traveling 20 or 30 mph, maximum with feet first and perfectly survivable and yes i did survive to my chagrin i suffered for 2 months with bad peck marks and bruises but it changed my life.  i want to live!  end